Wrestlemania 34 Review

Hello people 

Hello guys, welcome to Badjokesblogs. I am Badjokes and this is my first blog review of a WWE Pay per view (are they still called Pay per views?) and what better way to start with reviews than the biggest and best show of the year, Wrestlemania. I’m going to be writing this as the event occurs so all my thoughts will be live as they happen. I hope you guys enjoy this and I hope to do these reviews for every Pay-Per-View going forward.

The Preshow

Its ten pm and I’ve just loaded up the network it’s time for WrestleMania and I am so excited for this show, let’s hope it’s not too long until the first match which I’m guessing will be the Andre the Giant Battle Royale, we have Booker T JBL and David AKA the trifecta of preshow doom joining Renee young to talk us through the pre-show, lets hope we get some guests taking their place at some point. The crowd looks full already so there won’t be any repeat of previous years when the poor gits on the pre-show where wrestling in front of fewer people than a local high school gym.

I’m now eating my WrestleMania pizza so I hope nothing of note happens in the next ten to fifteen minutes Oh my god Sam Roberts looks awful in his suit and it looks like his hair is trying to run away from his face, The AJ styles vs Nakamura video package is really rather cool I hope that’s an indication of the quality of these packages tonight.

My pizza has been consumed (Meat feast from pizza hut in case you were wondering) and we are half an hour into the pre-show and now we have the Charlotte vs Asuka Promo, I kind of wish The first womens rumble had not happened this year as everyone knew Asuka was going to win so ruined it a little bit for me but im digressing this package is also really cool and does a good job building up the story of streak vs title and now we’ve got Carmella joining the pre-show panel doing a great job of being annoying and saying not alot about her intentions for this evening.

Now its time for the Andre The giant battle royale we have a LOT of nobodies in this match and I’m going to say baron Corbin wins this again just because I can’t think of anyone else that could do anything with it. Aiden English is the first eliminated to a chorus of boos to start things off to a sad Rusev day one big surprise to me is that kalisto or is it sin Cara is still employed and has made it to mania I feel this may be last time we see him. What did Bryon Saxton do to be able to commentate on this match with JR & the King I much would have preferred just JR and king who knows maybe they’re getting a match alone later tonight. Mrs Badjokes is watching the show with me (shes only got into wrestling last few months) and has just said this battle royal is ridiculous and I can’t disagree with her, nobody in this match should count this as a WrestleMania appearance speaking of WrestleMania appearances we have our first shot of John Cena in the crowd tonight I’m guessing we get at least 15 shots of him before undertaker comes out to set up a match for SummerSlam or next years mania. were finally getting down to the last few competitors and Corbin eliminates Kane to leave us with matt hardy Mojo Rawley and Baron Corbin so my prediction is still standing and ohhhhhhhhhhh my god bray Wyatts back and appears to be helping matt before he eats an end of days from Corbin who gets thrown over the top rope by matt hardy who then embraces Bray Wyatt so I’m guessing were now going to have Broken Bray Wyatt. A decent surprise to start the show and now back to the pre-show panel

Were an hour into the marathon known as WrestleMania and apparently that’s all the work JBL is going to do tonight as he leaves as were shown a Promo for the Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens vs Daniel Bryan and Shane o Mac Match, JBL is replaced by the equally annoying an maybe more clueless Peter Rosenberg, It was Otunga’s birthday yesterday I wish he would have got a hangover and called in sick today.

Now its time for the first proper match of the evening Mustapha Ali Vs Cedric Alexander for the Cruiserweight championship, I’ll be honest I don’t watch 205 live at all so I have no idea of the story between these two but I’m going to predict that Alexander wins this match just because he’s the face and wwe like faces to win on these pre-shows It’s nice to hear Nigel McGuinness on commentary at WrestleMania I’ve long been a fan of his. Ali gets a 2 and a half from a weird X-factor type move after rolling into the ring, both men take a breather after a Spanish fly from Alexander Mustapha hits his own Spanish fly but this time from the top rope but again only gets a 2 and a half. now we get the Ronda Rousey package whilst the match is still ongoing which in my opinion is just disrespectful to the men in the ring I mean you have two hours give the packages a break while there’s an actual match going on. were back in the ring and Mustapha Ali hits his 054 for a very close 2 count but Alexander gets his foot on the bottom rope. Now Alexander goes into his comeback and hits the lumbar check for the three count and the Cruiserweight Championship.

Now we’re back with the pre-show panel who are discussing if The Miz being a new father will hinder his chances in the Intercontinental championship and now we’re got Charly carrusso interviewing John Cena who I think just drunk a beer on air lets hope he doesn’t drink too many just in case undertaker Shows up because a drunk John Cena vs an old Undertaker is not something I want to watch.

Now its time for the First (but it’s not the first I’m sure I saw one at WrestleMania 25) women’s battle royal with Beth Pheonix and a very croaky sounding Paige joining Michael Cole and Corey Graves on commentary,Becky Lynch is the first woman to make her way to the ring so that pretty much means she’s not winning this match closely followed by a host of other women all at once and then Bayley gets her own entrance and now for the 5th time this weekend we get a look the trailer for the Paige film Fighting with my Family an then Sasha Banks makes her way to the ring and we are underway and carmella is eliminated quickly by most of the field so shes having a very short night but will she be back later? becky lynch goes mad at one of the nxt women for having the nerve to wear orange which seems a petty reason to want to attack somebody.Kyrie sane looks very impressive as she hits a beautiful elbow drop. Bel air just whipped Lynch with her hair and it sounded like a gun went off that was awesome. Sasha Banks eliminates sane an then Becky lynch gets herself eliminated. Bayley and banks put their differences of late to one side and start throwing people out like there big show and Kane in Philadelphia until it comes down to just them two and banks shakes Bayley’s hand only to be thrown over the top rope to win the match but no wait Naomi is still in the match an eliminates Bayley to win the inaugural women’s battle royal.

We’re now just ten minutes away from the main show getting underway so we’re getting all the packages for the big matches tonight were two hours in an I’m still as awake as ever and the pre-show has actually done a good job of getting me even more excited for this show Lets gets going already.

The national anthem of America is sung by Khloe and some other woman whose name I didn’t catch who are apparently the future of music which I find hard to believe they have decent enough voices but if they were the future of music they wouldn’t be here at WrestleMania would they. now we’re getting a very similar opening video to the one that started Wrestlemania 30 I know wwe have been on a cost-cutting drive of late so they may as well have just used the same video from Mania 30.

Ohh this is a nice surprise to start the show, one of the matches ive been looking forward to the most the Intercontinental Championship triple threat between Seth Rollins The Miz and Finn Balor Miz makes his way out with the Miztourage but he sends them back to the dressing room as he apprently wants to do this on his own, Finn soon makes his way out and for no apparent reason is swarmed by members of the LGBT community so that takes away any chance of a heel turn any time soon for the leader of the balor club. I’m predicting Seth Rollins wins this to make himself a grand slam champion.

The match starts with some nice chain wrestling from all three men attempted roll-ups which all get broken up quickly, Seth and the miz find themselves outside the ring which leads to an early dive over the top rope from Balor. we have our first look at Cena in the main show which makes about 5 I think since the preshow started they couldn’t be making it any more obvious that taker will show up at some point, but back to the match and Miz is in control delivering a neck breaker to Balor whilst kicking Rollins. good high pace action in this match and all three men are looking very even and now the miz has the figure four on Balor after working on his knee but out of nowhere Rollins hits a great frog splash on the miz.we get a throwback to the Balor/Rollins match at SummerSlam as Rollins attempts to bucklebomb Balor into the corner outside the ring but he escapes an takes control of the match himself. a series of near falls as Rollins superplex gets countered into a roll-up which Rollins escapes only to be hit with a skull crushing finale for a very close 2 count. balor looks like he’s going to win following a coup de grace but Rollins breaks up the pin with a curb stomp and then another one to the Miz and we have a NEWWWWWW Intercontinental champion the architect, Seth Rollins

This match is on a lot earlier then I was expecting it to be and has a lot to live up to after the great IC title match its Charlotte vs Asuka the Smackdown women’s championship vs the Streak in a match I’m expecting to steal the show, I’m predicting the streak ends here and Charlotte retains the title, Charlotte has an awesome entrance with throwback to her father Ric Flairs career and also hints of when she was one of the entrance girls for triple h a few years back. Asuka doesn’t have a special entrance so is that a hint that Charlotte is going to retain? some incredible chain wrestling to start off and both women are equal, charlotte struts in Asuka’s face. couple minutes later and Asuka sends Charlotte to the outside and she tweaks her elbow which the empress has noticed and she begins working on the elbow to set up for a future Asuka lock. charlotte goes for a moonsault and misses but it gets countered into a triangle choke which Charlotte, in turn, counters into a Boston crab, some awesome technical wrestling here from possibly the two best women wrestlers on the planet, now the fight goes to the apron and after a bit of back and forth Asuka suplexes charlotte from the apron to the outside below. when they get back in the ring a great little moment as charlotte asks is that all youve got which only seems to upset the empress and she’s taken control for the time being  asuka goes up top but gets caught and charlotte must have been watching the crusierweights earlier as she hits a spanish fly charlotte attempts to follow up with natural selection but asuka counters into the asuka lock which looks nasty as charlotte is bent over but she escapes and almost gets the figure eight but asuka kicks her off an eats a spear then charlotte does get the figure eight locked in it looks beautiful and asuka taps out as charlotte retains and breaks the streak of asuka. Asuka grabs the mic and congratulates Charlotte and they embrace in the middle of the ring. what a very good match this is shaping up to be a very good WrestleMania. As all this is happening a referee can be seen racing to John Cena and whispers something in his ear which sends Cena racing to the back I’m guessing he told Cena that the new west ham shirt is only ten pounds for a limited time only.

Bobby Roode makes his glorious entrance for the Fatal Four Way United States Championship match closely followed by possibly the most over guy in the company RUSEV Happy rusev day everyone and Aiden English does a great job introducing Rusev to a massive pop next out to a much smaller pop is Jinder Mahal who has gone from being WWE champ to getting the foreign commentator treatment because people just don’t care enough about him to watch him go to the ring. next out to near silence in the viper Randy Orton the current and defending US Champ.

The match starts off with Randy attempting a rko on jinder but its blocked and both men, as well as Roode, end outside the ring where rusev cannonballs all 3 off the apron to a good pop, Orton hits a great superplex off the top rope shades of his dad who used the manoeuvre back in the 80s but rusev breaks the pin up an taken control of the match focusing on jinder. roode hits his spine buster on Jinder for a 2 count Orton waits for an age for the crowd to get invested as he has rusev draped on the middle rope for the DDT but in silence he hits the DDT a then rko’s English who tried to distract him which leads to randy hitting rko’s on everyone,rusev recovered and hits Randy with a kick but gets distracted by Sunil Singh which allows Jinder to hit his finisher for the 1 2 3 and we have a new United States champion, Jinder Mahal

Now its the match three years in the making and despite the rumours it’s not the main event which is a good move its the Olympic dream team Kurt angle and Ronda Rousey vs the Authority Triple H and Stephanie McMahon. As ever Triple h and steps entrances are very cool as they both come out on huge motorbikes with five or six extras both look amazing and ready for a fight. Next out is Kurt angle please god let him have a better showing then he did as a stopgap member of the shield back at TLC because he looked awful that night Ronda makes her entrance in full Rowdy Roddy Piper get up and she looks in amazing shape and ready for this. Steph pie faces Ronda and trips her from behind and legs it as Kurt and Trips start the match off. Kurt is in control early but the match turns when despite HHH very loudly calling for it he manages to hit a spinebuster you would think an Olympic athlete would have got out of the way. Almost a mix up of the Authority leads to Kurt almost making it to Ronda but steph gets there first and trips Ronda from behind again. a minute later though an ronda is in the match an she runs like usain to steph an forces her into the ring an unloads with lefts and rights befoe throwing her to the other side of the ring, ronda looks amazing she is a natural at this but steph goes for the armbar which Steph counters and she gets a DDT on Ronda for a 2 count Rousey hits her firewomans carry slam on steph which looks like shes got the match won but triple h pulls the ref out of the ring so rousey calls him a cheat an says shes going to carry on beating up his wife at which point HHH pulls her out of the ring and trips lays out Kurt and were down to HHH an rousey in the ring an after a minute or so of the ref trying to calm things down rousey squares up to the game and hits him with some quick fire punches. Kurt catches steph attempting to kick him an puts her in the ankle lock which leads to an awesome sequence where HHH attempts to hit his pedigree on Angle. I’m attempting to keep up with this but there’s so much happening at once suffice to say this match is a lot of fun HHH an Steph attempt to hit pedigrees but both are countered and Rousey makes steph tap in the armbar and it genuinely looks like that hurt. What a performance from Rousey she is going to be great in the WWE. I feel like I need 5 minutes to get my breath after that.

7

I don’t think I’m going to get that five-minute breather because the action continues with the SmackDown Tag Team Championship Triple Threat match between the Uso’s The New Day and The Bludgeon Brothers, I’m predicting the bludgeon brothers for this one as they’ve been on such a roll of late.The match starts with Kofi hitting a trouble in paradise on Jey Uso but luke harper brakes it up and now it just dominance from the Bludgeon brothers as they’ve taken out everybody in very short time but Jimmy gets himself into the match the momentum turns to the uso’s for a moment but not long and a super powerbomb from the corner on Harper gets blocked and harper turns it around to a powerbomb of his own to Kofi for a very quick win and new Smackdown Champions The bludgeon Brothers.

 

Now John Cena is back from his little run earlier and is dressed to compete and Jo Jo announces like there’s going to be a match which surely is a botch, Cena goes to the outside and the lights go off and when they return we get……………Elias with his guitar to monster heat who proceeds to talk down the Undertaker asking if we expected somebody else. Elias walks into the ring and tells Cena to take a walk which he does right back to his seat in the crowd as Elias serenades us with his unique musical stylings ripping into john which brings him back to the ring and he squashes Elias and walks halfway down the ramp as the lights go off again and this time we see the undertakers outfit from last year in the ring which shocks Cena an then Takers music Hits and here he comes The Deadman is alive and well, this segment has been done very well.

I have NO idea who is winning this match but I’m going to guess Taker Wins to avenge his defeat in New orleans to Brock Lesnar, the match starts off quick with some trademark strikes from the undertaker and he hits old school and goes for the big boot but misses it by a mile but cena decides to be nice and goes down anyway Cena turns things around momentarily and goes for the five knuckle shuffle but taker sits up and hits the tombstone for a very quick 1-2-3  and the win Please please please as good as taker looked here please let that be the end this is how taker should go out let him retire now.

Here we go its time for what is sure to be the biggest pop of the evening and the moment we’ve all waited 3 years for the return of Daniel Bryan as he teams with Shane o mac to take on Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. I’m predicting a Shane and Bryan win because you cant have Bryan lose on his comeback match surely. Before Bryan makes his way to the ring we get a cool video package highlighting how the Yes movement took over the world and now its back, It is so cool seeing Bryan getting ready to wrestle again here in New Orleans where he won the world championship four years ago. KO’s music hits to massive boos but KO and Sami attack Shane and Bryan from behind and they immediately powerbomb Bryan to the ring apron and Shane calls for a doctor to check on Bryan. Shane has the match started as it looks like its going to be a 2 on 1 handicap match but shane is in control early unloading with punches to Owens until Kevin turns it around and now the Heels are fully in control taking there time having fun at Shane’s expense Owens is so good at trash talking as he rips into Shane for his money money money theme music telling him money won’t save you now. shane turns it around after about 5 minutes of abuse an gets zayn down in the corner so he goes for the coast to coast to an upside down sami zayn but owens breaks up the pin and hits a frog splash and goes for the pin but then Daniel bryan from nowhere breaks up the pin an goes to his corner to wait for a tag which he eventually gets despite zayn trying to hold shane back the crowd erupts into a yes chant as bryan gets in the ring and starts hitting anything that moves as he looks as good as ever Bryan hits a picture perfect huracanrana Zayn talks smack to bryan which only fires him up and we get the Yes Kicks for the first time in years and bryan hits his running knee and the yes lock for the win. a good enough match to ease Bryan back but hopefully well get some singles matches in the near future where we can see Bryan back at 100%.

So now its time to see if WWE really does believe in the Be a star movement as we are all set for the RAW Women’s Championship match Between the champion Alexa Bliss and the challenger Nia Jax. the storyline centers around the fact that Alexa Bliss has used and bulliedNia Jax and shamed Jax for being big a pretty weak storyline but its what we have and if it ends with Nia winning the title then its worth it as Nia has been the uncrowned champion for a long time so for that reason I’m predicting a NIa Jax Victory in quick fashion. Jax goes crazy at the bell and grabs mickie james and rag dolls her all around the ringside area and samoa drops mickie to the outside so surely thats the last well see of her and now she turns her attention to bliss and throws her arounf the ring and gorilla presses bliss with ease I mean she picked her up like how I pick up a teaBag, bliss attempts to leave with her belt but Jax cuts her off an brings bliss back into the ring who gets back into the match with the good old fashioned thumb to the eye because nobody can counter that and now bliss is working on the leg of Nia and she hits a twisted bliss on the outside, back in the ring Bliss hits a DDT for a surprisngly close near fall which sets bliss off into a tantrum telling jax I made you your pathetic which sets jax off throwing bliss around again culminating in a vicious slam an surely bliss is out now to make sure jax carries bliss to the top rope for a super samoan drop and the win  The new Raw Womens Champion is Nia Jax.

Yesss!!!! its time for the match I’ve been waiting for since Nakamura joined the WWE I have mixed feelings about this not being last but its the main event in my head and I really hope they let these two go New Japan style and just beat the crap out of each other if they do then this will be match of the year easily ohh i dont think ive ever been this excited at 3:45 am before Nakamura has a brilliant entrance with Nina Strausse playing his music and looking like Michael Jackson, this feels big time This match is so 50-50 maybe the most 50-50 mania main event I can remember but for my prediction im going for AJ Styles just because I cant see both main titles changing hands on the same night.

Very slow start as both men try to figure each other out untill Nakamura does his head run against styles midsection which leads to an AJ slap and now aj is in control, the way this match is going I think this will be a long one and I am all for that. Does styles have the best dropkick in the business or what, Nakamura is back in the match with a knee from the top rope and tells styles to come on and the pace is still slow but this match is very enjoyable so far styles gets a near fall after a pumphandle gutbuster Nakamura pick AJ off the top rope for a landslide and gets a near fall of his own Styles get the calf crusher locked in for the first time in the match but its reversed into a triangle choke from Nakamura which is broken up when nakamur is dropped almost on his head that looked nasty. styles attempts the styles clash but his back cant manage it but a minute later styles’ back is ok enough for him to connect with a phenomenal forearm for a very close pinfall attempt Nakamura rolls up aj after he tries a springboard 450 splash only to land on the Japanese stars knees. both men are just outright punching each other. Nakamura hits a kinsassha  for another near fall an now nak hits the reverse exploder  into the knee to face but its countered into the styles clash for the win and AJ Styles retains the WWE championship in a very good match but it could of done with another five to ten minutes in my opinion for it to be the best match of the year becuase its not even best match of the weekend but wait a minute Nakamura goes to give AJ the belt he drops to a knee an then low blows styles and beats him out of the ring and gives AJ the knee to face on the outside of the ring weve got a heel Nakamura People!!!

Just one mystery left to solve scooby and by solve I mean have told to us I mean its 4:19 am here i’m not solving anything at this time of night so who is Brauns Parter he makes his way to the ring alone after scaring of half a dozen mardi gras characters ok Strowman says his partner is someone in the crowd and goes looking around ringside for someone to pick as his partner this is quite awesome as he’s walking around the arena looking for somebody and apparently he’s chosen a kid called nicholas I wonder if Nicholoas will go on the road if he and strowman win this match will be on the house show circuit did strowman really think about this kids education does he have nicks (im going to call him nick thats better then nicholas) parents permission I have so many questions but while im typing this there is a match on going and strowman started well and the bar was in charge for a little bit but strowman just tagged Nick in this may go wrong thank god he tagged out again and strowman and er nick are the Tag Champs now  I cant believe what I’ve just seen.

After that comedic release, things are down to get serious again with the main event of the evening Brock Lesnar vs Roman reigns for the Universal Championship we all know Lesnar is leaving so this is the coronation of Roman reigns will he get over tonight and how does he win does he do it clean or do wwe put Heyman with Reigns to help with his promos my prediction reigns wins clean and this will be better than the AJ/Nakamura match.

The Challenger Roman Reigns is the first one out to book when his music first hits but other than that there’s not much reaction now Lesnar is on his way to join us and he gets a bigger cheer then Reigns which is weird to me because he hardly ever shows up and now he’s moaning and complaining about wanting to leave to go back to Ufc I just can’t see how that gets bigger cheers then Reigns who works his backside off and puts on good matches 98% of the time. anyway, the match starts with Lesnar overpowering the challenger and in the time it took me to write that sentence Lesnar delivered 3 germans and reigns answered with a superman punch this is going to be a slobber knocker people we’ve got a fourth suplex as Lesnar catches reigns off the steps and now Lesnar attempts a belly to belly but botches it and reigns goes head first into the commentary table, thus far its a carbon copy of the mania 31 match as its just suplex after suplex but reigns answers back with a thunderous spear dumping lesnar on the table he throws the beast back in the ring and hits a couple spears but still only gets a two count reigns attempts a superman punch but gets knee to the face (a better one then Nakamura earlier)  for his trouble and reigns kicks out of an F5 and kicks out of another one and now a third Reigns has kicked out off make that 4 f5’s this one through a table and lesnar draggs roman into the ring for a 6th german suplex this match is so slow I can litterally write everything thats happeneing and now reigns has kiced out of a 5th F5 which is quite frankly ridiculous and lesnar has taken his gloves off an busts roman open with a straight right to the face which seems to wake roman up as he gets out of another F5 and hits a spear but lesnar recoveres and hits a 6th F5 and get the 1-2-3 for the most surprising result of the night. erm er, what I’m confused where does anyone go from here.

Review

well, what do you say about that Wrestlemania it started off brilliantly with the IC title and the Smackdown Womens match both living up to and passing the expectations for them.

Jinder winning the United States championship match was disappointing but I supposed it makes sense for stories going forward.

The Mixed tag match was just a lot of fun I enjoyed it a lot more then I was expecting to,

The Smackdown Tag Title match did what it needed to and established the Bludgeon Brothers as the head of the Smackdown tag division I expect to see the usos go to Raw in the shakeup and maybe this year we get a Kofi singles run.

The Bryan and Shane vs Kevin and Sami tag match, to be honest, was a little disappointing I think its clear Bryan is still very limited in what he can and cant do but hopefully, he’ll be close to 100% soon.

The John Cena/Undertaker segment was very well done and a good way to get heat on Elias and wrap up the mini story he and cena had at the start of the year and hopefully, now undertaker can retire happy.

The Bliss Jax match again did what it needed to do and told the story that bullies don’t win in the end and I’m happy for Jax to get a run with the title.

The AJ/Nakamura was good technically but there wasn’t any kind of story until the heel turn afterwards hopefully they will have some better matches over the next few months.

The Bar vs Strowman and Nick was just hilarious I’ve never got Strowman as a comedy guy before but that was brilliant and exactly what was needed between the Smackdown title and the Raw title matches.

Reigns vs Lesnar, well don’t I look an idiot after saying that was going to be Reigns coronation it wasn’t if anything it was the death of roman reigns he’s now had two shots at Lesnar and failed both times as a match I was zoned out the whole time as it was a typical Lesnar match I really hope he comes out on Raw tomorrow night and drops the belt voluntarily but I know that’s wishful thinking.

Overall I give this show a 3.75 out of 5

It would have been more like 4.5 but the main events were poor which is a real shame.

goodbye

If anyone has made it this far your a legend and I appreciate it so much I wasn’t expecting it to be this long (That’s what she said :P) but my gosh was it a long show I really hope you enjoyed the Blog and the show I enjoyed writing it and it did its job of keeping me up for the whole show. I might do another one for the next Pay per view I am Badjokes Blogs and I’m out.